Every year one of the most clickbait-able topics in rugby league coverage are articles on what coaches might be sacked.

We all know the drill … a team has a series of losses, followed by various leaks to the press and whispers of having “lost the dressing room”, talks of “that’s a premiership rosters” and “they’re missing their premiership windows”, declarations that “the coach has the full confidence of the board”, pundits putting up their options to take over before any sacking has taken place, a sacking and a series of press conferences, the replacement, general managers mysteriously not getting sacked as well, lamentations, then some discussion about mental health.

It seems to happen at least, what, twice a year.

So, in the interests of fairness, I’d like to discuss which NRL journalists and presenters are at risk of being sacked this year?

Look, we all know the answer – none. It’s very hard for the media to get fire, at least if the ratings are okay – to get the boot you have to do something like be filmed while drunkenly charging into a tree.

But I’m doing this to generate some debate because I know the readers of this site aren’t opposed to a pile-on. After all, that’s what watching sport’s all about.

I’ve listed some thoughts on various journos/pundits below. I should qualify that this list does not cover everyone in the media, far from it, but it’s a decent sample size.

Anyway, here we go…

Greg Alexander – seems sad all the time; he’s just got this depressing hangdog air, like Kevin Walters, but he is a decent commentator, unlike Kevin Walters. (I don’t mean to be cruel to Kevvie, who everyone says is lovely, but he would be better off coaching in Queensland Cup or something.)

Braith Anasta – does his best, though I still miss Ben Ikin. It always seems like Anasta wants to punch someone on NRL 360, but that does suit the show. Could work on his diction more.

Braith Anasta. (Photo by Sam Tabone/Getty Images)

James Bracey – a must for those who like their presenters to have strong real estate agent vibes. Am sure he’s a nice guy and everything, but there’s no reason for ‘100% Footy’ to have an all-male panel – Nine should consider trialling Danika Mason or Allana Ferguson as host instead of Bracey.

Michael Chammas – good solid ambulance-chasing journo (that’s praise, not criticism) and the hair transplant is working a treat. The latter will help his prospects at Nine who seem to have an unofficial anti-bald policy (say what you like about Fox, they are more willing to put the follicle-free on TV).

Paul Crawley – a must-read for all those who love articles peppered with the phrase “fair dinkum” .

Cooper Cronk – excellent analyst, too smart for the NRL360 panel, but one senses could be doing more at Fox.

Michael Ennis – decent commentator, but how about full-time coaching a team before he gets an NRL head coaching job? Sorry, just got on my hobby horse there…

Gus Gould – everyone who follows league has a lot of feelings about Gould, but you can never count him out or underestimate him. Always good value, whether saying something insightful, going into a silent sulk on 100% Footy (which he’s prone to do), or railing against “the media” as if he hasn’t been part of it for decades. Relaxes a lot more on his Six Tackles with Gus podcast where he’s well handled by Mathew Thompson. Probably on some sort of spectrum but what NRL genius isn’t (eg Wayne Bennett)? Has highly entertaining feuds.

Bryan Fletcher and Nathan Hindmarsh – the Bert and Ernie of Australian rugby league punditry, and that is praise, not criticism.

James Graham – it look a little while for me to get used to the speaking cadences of Graham (the accent, the pauses) but once I did I find him really entertaining. It’s good to hear a foreign accent in our media.

James Hooper – you know how at high school there would be the big bullying alpha in the playground and he’d always have a sidekick or two following him around? Hooper reminds me of that sort of sidekick. I’m sure in real life he’s a lovely bloke who trains guide dogs in his spare time and stuff like that, I’m just talking his on-screen persona. His radio sledging – sorry, “banter” – of other journalists always feels uncomfortable. Actually that goes for all journalists who sledge each other, whether it’s Rothfield and Webster, Chammas and Weidler – it comes across really nasty, not as “fun” as I think it’s meant to be.

Andrew Johns – excellent analyst, very supportive of current players (former cricket players turned pundits could learn a lot from this), has an old school working-class-boy-from-Newcastle politeness which is endearing. Makes Brad Fittler a lot better.

Matthew Johns – balances the two sides of his persona – the comic buffoon and the astute analyst – better than any commentator I can think of, ever. (Maybe Peter Sterling could do both in the heyday of the Footy Show, but I don’t think he was as good on TV as Johns.) Genuinely interested to see where his career takes him because he’s not afraid to try different things (eg acting in Footy Legends).

(Photo by Matt King/Getty Images)

Paul Kent – he did get sacked, but he’s back on air. I’ve got to say I enjoy his podcast Kenty Blitz, a lot more than I thought I would – he’s entertaining and a lot more chilled, and Woz is a good co host .

Brent Read – apparently he is a Queenslander, he keeps saying he’s a Queenslander, but sorry he doesn’t feel like one. No offence, Brent, if you read this, he just feels Sydney.

Dean “Bulldog” Ritchie – a great contributor to Queensland State of Origin campaigns. Really likes taking down a certain type of player a peg or two. That’s not praise.

Buzz Rothfield – indestructible. His sheer longetivity deserves respect. So hard wired to the NewsCorp way he can’t make a comment without stirring the pot via some form of manufactured outrage. This has its place in rugby league, to be fair.

Yvonne Sampson – never seemed to fit in among the toxic environment that is NRL360 but thrives on shows like Super Saturday and her interview segment. Excellent presenter.

Cameron Smith – great player in his day but simply doesn’t make much of a contribution on air – his thoughts and comments may as well be generated by AI. It’s not enough to have a good playing CV. Unless he improves, Smith should be replaced by Billy Slater, who is an excellent analyst and communicator.

Gorden Tallis – commentates like he played, full of aggressive charges, and you’re never sure in what direction he’s going to go. Loves responding to questions by asking questions or answering a different question. Like Anasta, you sense he’d be happier on NRL 360 if he could punch someone once in a while.

Nick Tedeschi – for me the best writer on rugby league in the game (the gambling websites do have excellent analysis because the observers have to pay really close attention). Has a blind spot when it comes to Origin but Origin is a game of weird spells and magic pixie dust, no one can pick how that’s going to go except for maybe the gang at the Betoota Advocate, and three witches in a cave somewhere in Scotland.

Andrew Webster – perhaps the best actual prose writer on this list who’s done some very good books (though I haven’t read too much Gordon Tallis, so who knows).

Danny Weidler – first rate gossip columnist. The journos postcast is required listening.

Anyway, as James Hooper would say, those are my thoughts – what are yours?