At the end of each Bollywood film we await the dance sequence when foes embrace heroes and villains reveal their softer side; rugby sets aside ferocity when the whistle blows, even after a match played in a monsoon with such ferocity four players failed head injury assessments; the hosts played like thunder, whilst the visitors longed for smartphones when lightning came.

Fear not the bitterness which engulfed Australian rugby in the aftermath of a comeback for the ages in Melbourne: it was born of the abyss. The Wallabies stared into a chasm whilst the victors circled beach chairs in the middle of the MCG and reenacted the last try, like Norse warriors sharing mead and telling battle lies which came true.

A week later, a deluge washed away any braggadocio from the Lions and lifted the Wallabies out of the doldrums.

Yes, the series went to the better team, but not by much, even if some of that comes down to the natural letdown of winning in two; the story still tells so much better now with a rear guard action both brutal and redemptive.

One-season award-winning 1999 cult classic comedy ‘Freaks and Geeks’ set in 1980 with an ensemble including a quiet Seth Rogan, a slimy James Franco, and gawky Jason Segal attempting to corrupt a Detroit high school (and all its inhabitants, including Linda Cardellini) holds up due to how mercilessly the ‘sad, hilarious unfairness of teen life’ is portrayed. For all we know, the sad geeks may end up in the new century ascendant as dot.com moguls taking in applications from their former tormentors, but in the show, as the 80s dawned, dope-smoking nihilist rebels ruled the school. Watching this series and the British & Irish Lions tour simultaneously: the sagas blended.

Australia and Australian rugby has traditionally been cooler than the stodgy British & Irish Lions. But in this series, the visitors began as Sixth Form freaks in Brisbane and the hosts were Year 8 geeks (James Slipper excluded), craving the approval of the teachers, taken aback by the size and speed of their tormentors. Ellis Genge, Maro Itoje, Taidgh Beirne, Tom Curry, Joe McCarthy, Huw Jones and Finn Russell swaggered about Lang Park as if they owned it and reminded the mild Wallabies they ‘let’ them score a couple at the end. Australia the Unready; how were these youngsters, a majority with fewer than 30 caps, to cope?

BRISBANE, AUSTRALIA – JULY 19: Harry Wilson of Australia kicks the ball to touch to conclude the first test match of the series between Australia Wallabies and British & Irish Lions at Suncorp Stadium on July 19, 2025 in Brisbane, Australia. (Photo by David Rogers/Getty Images)

In the second Test, having enlisted a few tough guys from the neighbourhood, the Wallabies looked in revenge mode. Alas, we know the end of that sequel: their bullies at the end bullied better than our bullies at the beginning (save for James Slipper’s ‘scrum try’ and the aforementioned Will Skelton, Rob Valetini, and Langi Gleeson) and Joe Schmidt sounded pedantic citing 9.20 trying to speak loud enough over the din of the freaks’ drunken celebration: Jack Conan had bragging rights over Best Mustache, Tommy Freeman, Henry Pollock and Huw Jones posed well, and Captain Itoje seemed destined for knighthood.

It all flipped at the Accor. It was if we found a long lost season two of ‘Freaks and Geeks’ in which the pipsqueaks got muscles, the Wallabies threw out the law books and took up a cudgel, and in came freakishly antagonistic Nic White in place of nice guy Jake Gordon, country boy Tom Hooper was next to a more animated Skelton and the Tongan Thor, adding up to a tonne of pork chops, and even Nick Frost picked a fight (with Jamison Gibson-Park, to be clear). From the outset, with Dylan ‘Jailbreak’ Pietsch diving over and then rattling the Lions when they found coffin corner, it was the Lions who looked homesick far from home in a bully boarding school.

Will Skelton of Australia celebrates after they are awarded a penalty during the third test of the series between Australia Wallabies and British & Irish Lions at Accor Stadium on August 02, 2025 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by David Rogers/Getty Images)

When Russell invited a ‘who’s kick is longer’ contest, the Wallabies hung long, and then Skelton kicked off a fight, which he won against four.

Itoje was knocked out, tattooed Andrew Porter was turned out, and Tom Lynagh did not do anything when smashed illegally in the head (the first clear and straight red card of the series; not awarded but on a night when very little foul play was pinged) except bang over a penalty to go 8-0 and depart the scene head held high.

The most critical period at the MCG was the final five minutes of the first half: there the cocky Lions cashed in. Here, Hooper won the 50-50 call and kept 8-0 as it was instead of a slippery 8-7 as rain came down in sheets and Freeman was knocked out, as well.

The second half looked like a State of Origin grudge match with Harry Wilson running it straight. James Ryan knocked out cold, leaving the Lions’ lineout listing badly. Jac Morgan plays a more subterranean game and Tadgh Beirne was forced to make predictable calls.

Then, a 40-minute break refuelled the bigger Aussies, who still lost the scrum to angry rhino Genge, but ruled the ensuing lineout; Frost smirking as he stole one after the other. Locked in a dance: Lions loving the scrum, the Wallabies the lineout, time ticked away.

This was when the Lions tried to be cool again: but the jukebox disobeyed the Fonz. The midfield, which had built slick attacks all tour, was now a misfiring Bundee Aki with Owen Farrell, who picked the wrong option. Trying for the fourth pass rather than the piercing kick through, the ball found sodden earth, and scat back Max Jorgensen was first to it. 15-0 with 22 to play.

Chastened, the visitors ground over: 15-7 with time to earn the sweep, but Tate McDermott found a little seam after a battering ram attack at 71:00 and a 15-point lead was impregnable.

The Wallabies kept stealing lineouts (Jeremy Williams, take a bow) until a window dressing try by Will Stuart. All the Lions’ windows were already smashed, so that try was like the late try in Brisbane. The Wallabies are ready to rumble, able to win in ‘Lions’ weather, without doing it the running ‘Australian Way’ if need be.

The truth is winning is the only cool thing in sports; the rest is posing.

Welcome back, Australia. The Cup cometh, and soon.